Jumper

Today I'll be writing about the colossal cinematic failure that is Jumper. While I would usually have enough good judgment to avoid these kinds of movies, I'm a die hard Samuel L. Jackson fan and there wasn't much out this week.

Jumper focuses on an imaginary, uber-breed of children born with the ability to teleport themselves huge distances by running through portals. These kids are called "jumpers", and there are no details on why they have this ability, where they came from, or even what they have in common. All is not well in the world of Jumpers, though, because everyone knows that no great power goes unchallenged.

When David Rice (Haden Christiansen), an American jumper, starts to bring attention to himself, the evil organization known only as the Paladins begin to pursue him. While we really don't know much about the Paladins, we do hear that they were tied back to the crusades and witchcraft trials, and they have Roland (Samuel L. Jackson) on their side, so you should know better than to screw with them. Somehow, the Paladins have connections with governments from different countries as well as access to technology that can prevent jumpers from... well, jumping.

What follows is a predictable, high-budget series of chase scenes and violence. Things turn ugly when David's elementary school sweetheart Millie (Rachel Bilson) is kidnapped by the Paladins to draw him into the eventual showdown.

Jumper is predictable, full of plot holes, and to say the acting is disappointing is generous. While the concept works on paper, they failed to explain the Jumpers or Paladins beyond initial introduction, and spend most of their time switching back and forth between fight scenes and sex scenes. Samuel L. Jackson may have been able to save Snakes on a Plane, but he was no match for Jumper.